Loss of trust

Hi. There is this guy I have known for 10 years. He's a family friend, my age, and i used to know him really well. We grew a part when we hit high school and when we got into 6th form, he became the guy i was interested in. However, the other day I went to a party and got drunk. i left my friends and went to his house with two of his other friends - I had been there many times when I was a kid, and because i thought i knew him well, i thought I'd be safe. However we got to his, and I was sharing the bed with him and one of his friends. basically one thing lead to another and I ended up giving him head. I had never done anything like that before and I didnt want to, but I was drunk. but not drunk enough to forget. At one point i was pulling away saying 'no we can't do this' but he'd literally start forcing me. I can't trust him and I really dont like him anymore I know that much, even when we were kissing i felt absolutely nothing. The morning after he was all smiles, hugged me goodbye and I left. I've come closer to understanding men and I've realise I don't want to understand. I want to never drink so much again, and never go to another party. I want to sit and listen to music and daydream about better things. B But i dont know what to do. I'll see him at school everyday And i'm worried he's told all his friends. I feel disgusting, used and pathetic. Yet I know the experience has made me better in a way because Im not so naive anymore; i used to think guys were considerate people when it came to girls. I now know they're just after one thing at this age. What should I do when I see him? Im not angry, i'm just very upset and feel like gagging every few seconds. Thank you.

I don't think it was wise to go there in the first place. BUT, as you said you've learnt from that experience. Imagine what else could have happened...he could of raped you, made a sex video. When you see him, just be polite...BUT STAY AWAY...He'll probably lure you again... Go for the geeks...they're much sweeter and they turn out to be very good looking and well educated when they're all grown up