Am I wrong? What should I do?

Me (31, female) and my friend (30, female) had a fight over text messages. Background: I am sine a year and a half and especially currently in bad health. I get my work done and some of my household tasks, but after that, I’m usually exhausted due to severe pain and other symptoms like dizziness, brain fog, and concentration problems, which can even lead to panic attacks. On weekends, I mostly prefer staying at home to recharge. During this time (oktober 24 to november 24), I had a lot of doctor's appointments, some even after work. Because of this, I didn’t actively reach out to her to make plans (basically to nobody). We hadn’t seen each other in person for about two months, but we regularly called and messaged to stay in touch, and sometimes we played online games together. We then arranged a meeting at Oktober 31st, but she canceled a day before because she was feeling too stressed. She had a valid reason, so I said, "Alright, let’s meet another time." On the day we were supposed to meet, I messaged her asking if she wanted to talk on the phone. She replied that she wasn’t home and had spontaneously decided to go to a Halloween party. I was a bit sad that she could go to a party spontaneously but couldn’t meet with me, but I didn’t say anything, it was not that big of a deal so I moved on. A few weeks later, she reached out to arrange another meeting. We messaged to find a date, she said she had plans for almost all the weekends in December, so she asked if we could meet after work. I explained that I’m usually in pain after work and that it would be easier for me if we could meet on a weekend. (I was really looking forward to seeing her in person after such a long time and didn’t want to meet her when i'm in pain or even have to cancel) She said she’d check one weekend to see if she was available. After a few days, she texted that she wasn’t free that weekend either. I then said i will check with my fiancé to see if he had plans for his birthday which was on Dec 22 because that weekend was the last time we were both available in December. At the time, my fiancé hadn’t planned anything for his birthday, and wasn't sure about having a party, so I waited for his decision. As already metioned we talked regularly on the phone. Most of the time about very personal stuff and the calls were also intense in time (1-3 hours) During a phone call, she even encouraged me to reach out to a therapist because my health issues were affecting my mental health too, so she knew I wasn’t doing well. The incident that led to the fight: Two days before it happened, my fiancé reminded me that we had booked a trip to a city for a concert months ago (this concert was my Christmas 2023 gift to him). I had completely forgotten about it, but I was happy to have something to look forward to, as I had been unable to do much on weekends for weeks due to my health. I felt a bit overwhelmed by the fact that we were going on this trip, as I had planned my week differently and now had to adjust everything, which caused me some stress. I wanted to talk to my friend after the trip to arrange a meeting and had already thought it would have to be after work no matter how my fiance decides about his birthday. The day came, and my fiancé and I traveled to the city by train (a 3.5-hour drive) on a Friday after work. I posted a picture of our journey on my social media story. The next day, while we were at breakfast, I got a message from my friend reacting to my post, saying something like, "But you can do this after work? 🤣". She deleted it immediately, but I had already seen it. I was surprised and offended by the comment. I couldn’t understand why she was upset and felt that the way she communicated was a bit rude. So, I replied, a little upset, saying, "Yes, this is possible because we planned a long time ago." I also explained that I never said I couldn’t meet after work; I only said it would be nice if we could meet on the weekend. And that I don't understand why she's so upset. Then she blocked me. (I couldn’t see her profile picture, but my fiancé checked, and he could still see it.) I sent another message trying to explain myself, saying it wasn’t meant to be mean, that I wanted to meet on a weekend because I didn’t want to cancel due to my pain. (At this point I was close to just call her, but didn't cause I was mad that she reaches out to me like that) After a few hours, I got a much longer text from her. She said she was sad that we hadn’t seen each other in so long and that she thought I wasn’t interested in meeting her because I hadn’t reached out to arrange anything. She mentioned that the planned meetings were canceled on both sides, but I wasn’t the one who initiated a new one. She also said she didn’t like playing the game we used to play together anymore and feels like i play it alone now more often. She expressed that she understood my health issues but felt fooled because I could go on this trip with my fiancé, where I could also be in pain, and yet our meeting was probably not going to happen until January next year, which made her sad. She was especially upset that she couldn’t tell me in person that she had gotten engaged, even though she had driven two hours to attend my engagement and even fought with another friend because of my engagement.(my fiance reached out to a few friends and asked for help with the plan he made to ask me) She wrote part of this very sarcastically and judgmentally. When I read her message, I was extremely hurt and confused. I didn’t understand why she was blaming me for everything, especially since she knew what I was going through health-wise. And regarding the engagement, I didn’t know she had said yes. How would I know? I would’ve made the effort, no matter how I was feeling, of i had known. Her message came while I was dealing with a panic attack I had in a shopping center (which was not caused by her, but by my health issues). I broke down in tears in the middle of the town, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions. I felt bad for a second, but I couldn’t understand why she didn’t share those things with me on the phone, especially the engagement news. That’s basically what I wrote to her in my response a few hours later (still was too mad to call her so i decided to write a polite message). I explained that I didn’t understand why she was blaming me for doing something with my fiancé on the weekend in weeks, apologized again for not reaching out more, and tried to explain that it wasn’t meant badly. I also mentioned that I had experienced a panic attack that day to show that I do things even when I’m in pain, and I explained that I hadn’t meant anything bad by wanting to meet on a weekend, and that I enjoyed the game, but it had nothing to do with her not liking it anymore. I said I wanted to contact her after the weekend to arrange a meeting after work, as there were no other options before the new year. Then I asked why she didn’t tell me on the phone that she was engaged. If she wanted to tell me in person, why didn’t she give me a hint that it was important so I could have been there, no matter what my health was like. I said I was so hurt by the fact that she was blaming me for everything and couldn’t communicate correctly (especially by being sarcastic, blocking me, and not calling to talk) that I didn’t want to talk about this right now and suggested we could talk in a few days when we were both more calm. I said that I wasn’t in the right mental state and that I was here for my fiancé’s gift, and I didn’t want to ruin the day. Then came her next response. She said that she didn’t want to be seen like that and accused me of gaslighting her, saying her feelings were not ridiculous. She added that she had nothing to do with my panic attack, and I shouldn’t blame her for it. She said the chat history would say otherwise, but she didn’t have the time or energy to prove it to me. She expressed that she was shocked and disappointed by my last message and wished me quick help for my health and mentioned that she needed space to think about her "perpetrator role." I just replied that I didn’t mean to imply she caused my panic attack, but I wanted to explain how I felt in my current situation, cause i think she doesnt understand me. I said that nothing she interprets in my actions was meant the way she felt and that I was also hurt by her texts. I mentioned I needed some time to process things, as I’m already on the edge due to my health and didn’t want to deal with any more stress right now. Then came her last Text which said:leave me alone now Since the fight at the end of November, we haven’t spoken, and I’m unsure what to do next. I’m deeply hurt that she doesn’t seem to understand my health struggles and has turned this situation into a bigger issue than it needed to be. I believe good friendships should be more forgiving, especially during tough times. Am I wrong? Should I reach out to her, or should I let things rest? Thanks for reading this ❤️

Step back a bit & see that yes you're correct; true friendships are more forgiving, but true friendships are about empathy & understanding in the first place. Your health issues demand that you basically have support from those close to you in your circle & if you don't have that support from them, then those people really aren't worth having around. You need people who you can trust to be there for you & people who give you confidence to deal with issues. Genuine people who don't confuse actual facts with bs & people who will respect you no matter what you're issue/s are. You'll go through life counting your TRUE friends on one hand but whether it's one or five, they'll have your back absolutely. Yep, you can sort this, but only if you guys talk face to face; but you need to take your thoughts a bit further & ask yourself if your friend has improved your quality of life since you've known her & has she contributed to your wellbeing just by having her in your circle? it's up to you whether you need someone in your life who will just judge you at the slightest hiccup, call you a gas lighter & then going by your post, discard you on the roadside.

Creative Nick, Again, as per your 'neighbouring' thread - I completely agree with Manalone. It's not you. Definitely her. She's acting like a typical, controlling/possessing/over-entitled Narc: *she* doesn't want you (apart from as her convenient Go-To, Backup girl), but she doesn't want anyone else to have you, either - in CASE she needs you. ALL on her terms. (Personal Butler-ing/Ladies' Maid-ing, anyone?) Can't get more gobsmackingly self-centred than that. (Present her with an invoice for services thus-far rendered. I would. ;p)

Check out WT's thread, "Jealous of best friend" (- not, actually...other way round). She's in your same boat: https://www.peoplesproblems.org/showtopic/13611/jealous-of-best-friend